TDA thief and a politician walked into a supermarket.
When they reached the chocolate section, the thief leaned in and whispered, “Let me show you what real professionalism looks like.”
In a flash, he slipped three chocolates into his pocket.
No movement. No sound. Even the CCTV seemed confused.
He smiled proudly. “You see that? That’s skill.”
The politician laughed with the confidence of someone who fears absolutely nothing in this life.
He said, “My friend, you’re still an amateur.”
Then the politician walked straight to the shop owner with the boldness of a man expecting an endorsement deal.
“Sir,” he said loudly, “Give me one pack of chocolates.”
The shop owner handed it over.
Immediately, the politician pointed to the thief and shouted, “Look! He stole it!”
The thief froze. The shop owner grabbed him instantly.
Meanwhile, the politician casually picked up two more packs for himself, nodded politely, and walked out of the shop whispering, “You see? That’s strategy… not skill.”
In the great theatre of African politics, where the curtains never quite fall and actors cling to the stage like it’s the last bus out of Jos Terminus, Uganda has once again offered the continent a masterclass in political longevity. Its 86-year-old lawmaker, Moses Ali, has been reelected into Parliament like a man renewing a gym membership he never actually uses. And President Yoweri Museveni? The old general has strolled back into State House for a seventh term as casually as one returning to a favourite armchair.
A whole 71.6 percent. Not a landslide. A land continent.
But before Nigerians laugh too loudly, it is wise to check the mirror, because satire hits hardest when the truth sits next to it, quietly sipping zobo.
Which brings us to 2027. And the small matter of Tinubu 2027 In Sha Allah or…
Nigeria is a place where political prophecy is a marketplace chant. Everyone has a prediction. Everyone has a preferred oracle. Everyone has a cousin who “knows someone in the Villa.” And yet, somehow, nobody knows anything at all.
We hover between certainty and uncertainty the way Lagos traffic hovers between movement and paralysis.
Those shouting “In Sha Allah” have already booked their aso-ebi. Those whispering “or…” have already bookmarked several escape routes and prayer points.
But the truth, that quiet ancient spirit, keeps humming its opaque song: What will be will be…
And in this, Nigeria and Uganda share a certain ancestral shrug.
The continent’s political clock runs on its own sacred rhythm. Where others have term limits, Africa has term suggestions. Where others have retirement ages, Africa has “as long as the spirit leads.” Where others prepare succession plans, Africa prepares “succession possibilities,” heavily decorated with maybes, godfathers, and political weather forecasts.
Uganda’s longevity champions are simply playing a tune many African states already know by heart: Stay long enough, and the political seat begins to shape itself around you like memory foam.
But Nigeria is special. Nigeria likes to pretend it is different even while walking in familiar shoes. From Independence to 2027, we have mastered the choreography of democratic uncertainty: a tango of hope, tension, noise, silence, and divine invocation.
Whether you support Tinubu or oppose him, whether you call him the city’s landlord or its long-term tenant, the song of 2027 is already playing on the nation’s political loudspeakers. Every week, a new group declares a fast, a rally, a prayer walk, or a caucus meeting. Our political season is like harmattan: cold in the morning, dusty at noon, blazing with speculation by evening.
Still, the reality remains: Nigerians have a beautiful, stubborn way of believing tomorrow will deliver what yesterday failed to provide.
This is why satire loves Nigeria. The country is a moving metaphor.
These ones are convinced that 2027 is sealed, stamped, and spiritually embossed. They say it with confidence, almost cheerfully, as though elections are just ceremonial courtesy. They trust the machinery, the momentum, the money, the alliances, the silent voters, the loud supporters, the political evangelists, and the arithmetic of incumbency.
For them, 2027 is a homecoming. An inevitable next chapter, and a divine continuation of a script already written.
The “or…” congregation. Now these ones. They never speak loudly, but their eyebrows do the talking.
They know Nigeria is a land of political surprises wrapped inside contradictions. They remember history. They remember political earthquakes. They remember that nothing is guaranteed here, not even the power situation.
They are the watchers, the analysts, the ones who believe that even the most certain narratives can be punctured by a single unexpected gust of political wind. They have been there, done that…
Between the “In Sha Allah” camp and the “or…” choir is a nation living its familiar political cycle: noise, hope, fear, rumours, alignments, betrayals, reconciliations, and prophecies. Uganda has simply reminded us that in Africa, incumbency is less an office and more a lifestyle.
But Nigeria is not Uganda. Nigeria is Nigeria. A place where history bends, but never fully breaks.
A place where power shifts like clouds over Shere Hills: slowly, dramatically, unpredictably.
So, what will 2027 be?
A coronation or a contest?
A continuation or a correction?
In Sha Allah or otherwise?
Only time knows. And time, that wickedly playful elder, is not talking yet.
Until then, Nigeria will continue dancing between conviction and uncertainty. Between political prophecy and political reality. Between faith, fate, and whatever lies between both.
Because truly, as our elders say: Ka zo, ka gani — come and see. Both thief and politician 2027 will reveal itself when it is ready. Not a minute before—May Nigeria win.
